Grappleberry Punch

I got sick of my old icons so I found some new ones.  They really really are great.


ICON THAT SPEAKS MOST TRUTH:
 Old: Very very true, but yet....like....it crosses up too much with "Most Clearly Made By 14 Year Old Girl".  And the advice has really worn down.

Runners Up:
 
Ok, the first one is truth, but its ugly.  It sounds kind of hostile too.  The second one doesn't really speak truth, it speaks hilarity.  LMAO.

WINNER AND NEW ICON:

Bre, Cycle 5.  "You're ugly, and God don't like ugly", very true and wise words from a beautiful real girl.  Thats all I got to say.  Compared to her, I think the runner ups do not compare.

Other fine fine categories:

Have a nice weekend all.

OK, This is one of my memories, something which I've been thinking about a lot lately.  Im in a thinking mood.

I must've been tiny.  Maybe 6.  And a guy had a sign up, this was down South I think, maybe West, My mothers bf is freaking out, he wants to show me something.  And he takes me to someguys backyard, right, and there is a bear sitting chilling in this bitty cage.  And he has this goofy grin like "want to see it drink a red pop??  huh??"  and I don't care wtf,  I'm 6 years old.  So my mothers bf hands the guy some money, lets say 2 dollars, and the guy opens a red pop part way, sticks it down the chute, and it falls into the bear cage, fizzing all up.  THE BEAR PICKS UP THE RED POP AND DRINKS IT.   The bear probably LIVES ON RED POP too, because the chute is completely stained and so is all the grass under the cage from all this red pop dripping down.  I will never forget this.  In retrospect maybe I shouldve called Animal Helpline because thats no way for any self-respecting organism to live, but Im 6 and theres no way they would believe me.  My adult self cant even believe my kid self.  "Are you sure it wasnt Strawberry Pop?  A man in a bear suit?"  No, it was a real bear and it was really red pop.  I'll never forget it, because I haven't drank red pop a day since.  Wasn't it? 

Its a mystery, wtf.

1)  In Texas, a white teenager burns down her family's home and receives probation. A black one shoves a hall monitor and gets 7 years in prison. The state NAACP calls it `a signal to black folks.'
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0703120170mar12,0,1435953.story

There was the 19-year-old white man, convicted last July of criminally negligent homicide for killing a 54-year-old black woman and her 3-year-old grandson with his truck, who was sentenced in Paris to probation and required to send an annual Christmas card to the victims' family.

There are the Paris public schools, which are under investigation by the U.S. Education Department after repeated complaints that administrators discipline black students more frequently, and more harshly, than white students.

And then there is the case that most troubles Cherry and leaders of the Texas NAACP, involving a 14-year-old black freshman, Shaquanda Cotton, who shoved a hall monitor at Paris High School in a dispute over entering the building before the school day had officially begun.

The youth had no prior arrest record, and the hall monitor--a 58-year-old teacher's aide--was not seriously injured. But Shaquanda was tried in March 2006 in the town's juvenile court, convicted of "assault on a public servant" and sentenced by Lamar County Judge Chuck Superville to prison for up to 7 years, until she turns 21.

Just three months earlier, Superville sentenced a 14-year-old white girl, convicted of arson for burning down her family's house, to probation.
.....
"Shaquanda started getting written up a lot after her mother became involved in a protest march in front of a school," said Sharon Reynerson, an attorney with Lone Star Legal Aid, who has represented Shaquanda during challenges to several of the disciplinary citations she received. "Some of the write-ups weren't fair to her or accurate, so we felt like we had to challenge each one to get the whole story."

Among the write-ups Shaquanda received, according to Reynerson, were citations for wearing a skirt that was an inch too short, pouring too much paint into a cup during an art class and defacing a desk that school officials later conceded bore no signs of damage.
....
Inside the youth prison in Brownwood where she has been incarcerated for the past 10 months--a prison currently at the center of a state scandal involving a guard who allegedly sexually abused teenage inmates--Shaquanda, who is now 15, says she has not been doing well.

Three times she has tried to injure herself, first by scratching her face, then by cutting her arm. The last time, she said, she copied a method she saw another young inmate try, knotting a sweater around her neck and yanking it tight so she couldn't breathe. The guards noticed her sprawled inside her cell before it was too late.

She tried to harm herself, Shaquanda said, out of depression, desperation and fear of the hardened young thieves, robbers, sex offenders and parole violators all around her whom she must try to avoid each day.

"I get paranoid when I get around some of these girls," Shaquanda said. "Sometimes I feel like I just can't do this no more--that I can't survive this."


2)Oh yea and while I'm on the subject  BBC Have Your Say Forums are one of my favorite places to read the most ignorant shit on the web.

Should Europe pay reparations for slavery? Should western politicians apologise for the slave trade? What are the main consequences of slavery today? How should we mark this 200th anniversary?

"We should mark the anniversary by celebrating the fact that it was Britain that did the most to stop it. We were the first country to ban it, and the size and power of the Royal Navy during the 19th century gave us the power to destroy it elsewhere.

No, we should not apologise. In fact, a "thank you" from a large part of Africa would be in order.

[politicallyincorrect], Leeds, UK of A, United Kingdom"

THE NUMBER ONE AGREED UPON REPLY.  And see, his screen name is politicallyincorrect.  What I tell you lj?  This guy needs to go rent the Amazing Grace movie a few more times so he can jack off to the supreme kindness of whitey.  THANK YOU WHITE PEOPLE.  WHERE WOULD BROWN PEOPLE BE--lol I cant even finish.  I don't want to even get into the "Can you wear a veil?" hys.  

UK aint worse than France or US, but damn.  Shut the hell up, you aint shit and you aint done shit for anyone. If you spent half the effort in fixing the planet than you do in fucking it up for everyone else--whatever, you dont care you just want to skeet all over you own reflection.  Does anyone but me and my ginger boy UNIMAG have any idea how scary this shit can be? 

3)  HOW TEH HELL DO YOU PIMP A BICYLE, THATS ALL I WANT TO KNOW?!?!?!?!?! Ich spreche nur ein wenig Deutsch, aber ich finde dieses Subject sehr interessant.  Ich verstehe die Clips nicht.  Bitte, helfen sie mir.  Meine Deutschlehrehrererin ist all "Die Deutshe haben "Pimp My Fahhrad" und ich hat "lol" gesagt, aber es war STIMMIT!  ...uh, Actually spreche ich kein Deutsch.  Meine schlecht.  You get the idea. 

POOR PEOPLE BOOKSTORE
The books cost .50 cents to 5 dollars, they are older books, generally shitty romance novels from the 1970s.  They all smell like piss, and are dumped in random boxes and all over the floor.  There is an old man who looks kinda homeless in there, and I guess he owns the place because he takes your money.

RICH PEOPLE BOOKSTORE
Books cost 10-30 dollars, they are new, clean, relevant and free of offensive odors.  They come on shelves organized by topic or author.  The service people are clean, sociable, and well-groomed.  There is a coffee shop in there, with fancy flavors and chocolates.

OK, today I decided to break the cycle of poverty and illiteracy, I was going to go to the RICH PEOPLE BOOKSTORE and I was going to buy me a book about history.  I was more specifically looking for a book about American History, and generally the history of brown people in it.   I really enjoyed Lies My Teacher Told Me (low low price of 15 dollars!), especially the brown people parts.  And I think I was looking for something like that.  I think I did, but this is not the part of the story that I wish to tell you about.  BECAUSE AT THE BOOK STORE I FOUND THIS:

AND IM HOTLINKING ALL THESE IMAGES SO IF THEY DISAPPEAR OR ARE REPLACED BY ANIMAL PORN (how mature of you Amazon), YOU KNOW WHY.  



For you non-Americans, that guy standing to the side with all the attitude  is a Confederate soldier.  And I'm also not sure you can grasp the full ridiculousness of it all.  In America, "politically incorrect' means really fucking stupid and generally racist, and if you read the bulletpoints, maybe you can get some idea?  Anyway, I can't help myself, I took the book home because I'm a masochist, in case you have not picked up on any of the subtle hints.

DID YOU KNOW?

+The Indians were happy to give up their land, and white people were super friendly.  Early Puritans did look down on Indians, but they weren't RACIST or anything, I mean, (if I can quote) "it is not clear what else they were supposed to think when they met people who did not use the wheel"
+All of the Early Settlers worshipped the same white Jesus, and they all spoke English.  (Page 1 btw)
+The average poor American is still fabulously wealthy by European standards, so who needs welfare?  Poor people are greedy.
+Integration of Schools?  Affirmative Action?  More like RACISM.  against WHITE PEOPLE.  Did you know once they let a black person into college on affirmative action and then later that same black person had his medical license revoked? 
+The Civil War had nothing to do with slavery, blacks in the South were happy, and Lincoln is the devil, and the 14th Amendment is devilsauce.  Confederates were true patriots who knew that states should have states rights, NOTHING TO DO WITH SLAVERY.
+Bill Clinton caused Islamist Fundamentalism? 

AND MORE!   Stuff about how liberals caused the Great Depression and also got the US into WWI and WWII. 

And no these aint exaggerations.   I thought it was some kind of hilarious parody book when I read the cover, but it's a series.  And it's a New York Times, Best Seller.  Of course.  One day I too hope to right a NYT Best Seller.  Apparently its really fucking easy.

Oh yea PS Islam and the Global Warming One are NYT Best Sellers.  Of course. 

I've got man-piss on my coat.

So ok, so im out and we were drinking, and having a good time at a friends house, i was drinking non-alchoholic stuff, OF COURSE, because I am not yet of age to consume liquor in the state of Michigan, and overall i was ENJOYING MYSELF.  

so im walking back to my car and my boys like "oh no i gotta pee please" and im like "uh ok go pee dumbshit, damn dont ask me permission" so he started pissing, and i was ignoring him im playing "BUBBLE SMILE" on my phone (fun game btw) and then i look over and he's on the ground, crumpled over and peeing on himself, and he wont get up and im like....uh....maybe i should go take him back to the house but im not carrying a grown man soaked in piss back over to the house a block away with his thing hanging out.  HELL NO.   so i cant really remember wtf, i think i wrapped him in a blanket and kind of dragged him a ways, ppl are just staring and some homeless guy came and helped me, and i thanked him he was pretty cool, we got him to the house laid him down, and i think we laid him on his side, becaue i heard thats what you got to do.  then i stole his shoes and his phone, because HE OWES ME.  lmao.  hopefully he dont remember and if he do ill be like...buy me a new coat dumbshit, because....

my coat smells like PISS and NASTY and I will never wear a coat that another man has peed on, ever.  Ive got standards.  So its a good thing the weathers warmed up, because i only got one coat, and good coats cost good money.  i feel bad about throwing it away, but i cant keep it.  right now its sitting alone in a corner, smelling like piss.  for shame. 

THIS IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY

so i took my daughters to church, and i sit them down, and it is going to be a lovely sunday

PASTOR:  what brings happiness?  its not beauty...
ME, THINKING: i already know this answer, it is going to be like "jesus" or "the community" or "selflessness", damn i smart
PASTOR:  Anna Nicole Smith was pretty, but look, now she's dead.
ME, THINKING: lol, not really.  dumb pop culture reference.
PASTOR: its not money...
ME, THINKING: that it is not.
PASTOR: Anna Nicole Smith was rich, and now shes dead!
ME, THINKING: WTF?!?!?!
PASTOR: its not fame....
ME, THINKING: OH NO
PASTOR: ANNA NICOLE SMITH WAS FAMOUS!  SHE IS DEAD!  (walking back and forth, to inspire power) AND SHE HAD A  NICE CAR AND A NICE HOUSE!  SHES DEAD!  OH YEA...YEA...SHES DEAD NOW...YEA.  YEP.  (nodding to himself, probably thinking about how wise and inspiring he sounds)  YESSIR.  DEAD.

And he kind of went on, but I left so damn fast, my kids are like wth?  I thought the dead white marilyn monroe wannabe c-list celebrity had her fatass day in the dumb bitch sun already?  Why is she in my church?  Why is she in my livejournal?  ISNT THIS LAST WEEK NEWS? Instead of giving my children discipline and grounding, I gave them stupid.  What the fucking fuck, that's all I want to know.  And I hate to say this, but, uh, a lot of rich people are alive, so you know, I'm not sure exactly what his logic is supposed to be.  TBH, i think hes on drugs.   I want to confront him, but considering hes a spiritual leader, I need to be discreet about it....I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I think it's best for himself, his family, and the community if I get some intervention going.  Addictions can really ruin your life and its best that we get it at the first signs. 

Ok nobody suggested NOTHING, (unless "what are church pants?" is a suggestion, I THINK NOT because yall should know already) therefore I am going to write about Milk, which is one of the things I sometimes think about. It makes me pretty angry so you are warned right now.

First, I am lactose intolerant
Second, most people are lactose intolerant.

Third, no animals in the history of all animals every drink milk after they are full grown. 

Because when you are fully grown and WEANED, you lose the ability to break down lactose. But some genetic freaks (mostly in upper Europe) can drink milk when they are fully grown, and think that EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD TOO.

Uh...NO!!! lol. 

It's not natural.

Then you say "But Grappleyo, Oatmeal Pie ain't natural neither!"

Well then. Let me break it down for you because clearly you dont get the point.

Natural and Not Nasty: Laughter, Being able to see (unless you seeing something nasty then its a grey area)

Natural and Nasty: Shit, Snot.

Unnatural and Not Nasty: Oatmeal Pie, Air Conditioning

Unnatural and REALLY NASTY: Full grown people drinking milk.

Of course, this aint the entire problem with milk. Full grown people aren't content to continue to drink milk from they mamas titty. That would be INCEST. So what do these European geniuses decide to do, heaven forbid they just drink orange juice like normal people and don't flaunt their sad genetic defect?

THEY SUCK ON A COW TITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!

Yeah all you lactose-lovers see nothing wrong with that. It's like breathing or sleeping or sexing. "How simple and natural and perfect: my breakfast swimming in the contents of a cow titty" you are thinking. That is probably the saddest part.

Oh yea and I have had milk, though it gives me gas and uh other stuff that I am too dignified to talk about in an lj post....and I will tell you something....it doesn't even taste good. Its not awful, but its just a little bit...UNtasty, I think the word should be. They are just drinking milk out of a cow titty to show they CAN. Yea, milk is good for you....because cow milk, like all milk, is pretty much an all-in-one meal.....for BABIES. Milk is to mammals what regurgitated worms are to birds. Momma eats, then a portion of what she eats come back out in fluid form for baby to eat. It is still kinda nasty, but its normal, so I don't care.

And I wouldn't even mind it so much, because hell, what you drink, no matter how nasty, is your business, but in America they have built a whole business out of snatching cows and sucking their tittys dry, bottling it, then selling it to the lactose freaks. So now I have to see commercial after commercial for food products that came from cow titty, people drinking cow titty in elementary schools across the nation, the print ads with people with cow titty juice ALL OVER THEIR FACE and they need to wipe it off, ads for medicine you can take in order to sort of digest the milk if you happened to be born normal...so you too may be able to suck a cow titty. 

I wish I was there when the first full grown man from Sweden or whatever was there, saw the baby cow sucking on he mommy titty, and was like "MOVE OVER BABY COW!!!"....I wish I was there so I could stomp on the back of his head. What was he thinking, honestly? Poor cow was probably like "Wtf?!?!?!". Nowadays cows are used to it. Shame shame SHAME.

Cheese aint that bad though, I can digest cheese for some reason. lol.

So in conclusion:

1) Milk is for BABY COWS

2) You are not a baby cow.

3) You are a NASTY FREAK.

4) Stop shoving your nastyness in my face all the time

5) I can digest cheese for some reason, cheese appears to be natural.

Well, that's all I've got to say.  Thank you and have a great weekend.

1) Milk: wtf is up with milk.
2) Stupid Hair Fashions: wtf is up with peoples hair
3) The time I went to Canada and broke all their stuff.
4) The time I saw a moose
5) The time I lost my comb and I looked for it ALL DAY and I went around all day with CRAZY HAIR and then I realized it was in my coat pocket.
6) If I was any color of M&M what color would I be: quiz results.
7) ???
8) Delicious Food: A guide (Educational)
9) Black History Month
10) Hampsterdance: Why you got to sell out, hampsterdance?

Also I got my....USERPICS today. It took me forever. Most of the Icon sites are run by 14 year old girls for 14 year old girls, and well. It took me a long time to seperate the "cheesy 14 year old girl icons" from the true jewels.